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A free download from Therapy with Zion
Most couples don't drift apart in a single moment. They drift in the accumulated ordinary — the goodbye tossed over a shoulder, the hello absorbed by a screen, the meal eaten in the same room but not together. Connection doesn't usually die of betrayal. It dies of not being scheduled.
A ritual of connection is a small, pre-decided practice that a marriage can count on. Not a grand gesture. A repeated one. The Gottmans found that couples who build these — who decide in advance how they'll greet each other, how they'll part, how they'll mark a hard day — carry a durability that couples running on good intentions do not.
This worksheet helps you build yours.
Inside you'll find 43 everyday moments that are candidates for ritual, from bedtime to grocery runs to how you bring up a hard thing. Then a set of questions to plan one well — not just the logistics of when and how often, but the parts couples usually skip:
What each of you inherited from the families that raised you, and what you want to bury
Where your pictures of this quietly differ
What you'll tell yourselves the first week you miss it
What you're saying no to in order to say yes to this
What God might be doing in it
Print it. Sit down with it. Pick one.
Best used with a pen, two chairs, and no phones. Suitable for couples working with a therapist or on their own.
A free download from Therapy with Zion
Most couples don't drift apart in a single moment. They drift in the accumulated ordinary — the goodbye tossed over a shoulder, the hello absorbed by a screen, the meal eaten in the same room but not together. Connection doesn't usually die of betrayal. It dies of not being scheduled.
A ritual of connection is a small, pre-decided practice that a marriage can count on. Not a grand gesture. A repeated one. The Gottmans found that couples who build these — who decide in advance how they'll greet each other, how they'll part, how they'll mark a hard day — carry a durability that couples running on good intentions do not.
This worksheet helps you build yours.
Inside you'll find 43 everyday moments that are candidates for ritual, from bedtime to grocery runs to how you bring up a hard thing. Then a set of questions to plan one well — not just the logistics of when and how often, but the parts couples usually skip:
What each of you inherited from the families that raised you, and what you want to bury
Where your pictures of this quietly differ
What you'll tell yourselves the first week you miss it
What you're saying no to in order to say yes to this
What God might be doing in it
Print it. Sit down with it. Pick one.
Best used with a pen, two chairs, and no phones. Suitable for couples working with a therapist or on their own.